A harvest of happiness

1:1 Coaching with Dr. RJ

Did you know Dr. RJ is certified life coach for teens? Learn more about our 1:1 coaching program here.

I’m sure you have heard of the phrase: You reap what you sow as some type of threatening payback.

So, what does this phrase actually mean?

Some believe that the universe is keeping track of all of the times we wronged others so that it can create opportunities for us to be wronged in the future. If this were the case, there would be no good in the world. This phrase has a much simpler meaning. Think of it as literally planting seeds in a field. Does it mean that every time you plant a seed it will grow? No! Just like every time you are mean to someone you will not always receive the same in return. It’s not a 1:1 ratio. Therefore, it’s a possibility that someone could wrong you and never pay for their mistake.

Generally, when someone plants a seed, they plant more than one. So although it’s possible for someone to not pay for wronging you, chances are they have a habit of mistreating people— which means they experience more stress and worry in their life. In other words, the more seeds of discord, malice and retaliation you plant, the more likely you will receive the same in return.

Why is that? Is it because of some magical force? No. It’s simple math. It’s a game of probability. If you cheat on a test every chance you get, then eventually you will get caught. If you constantly lie about things, then others will eventually recognize you as a liar.

So, the reaping and sowing is less about the individual actions and more about your habits.

If you have a habit of arguing, then over time you will reap more arguments and fights. If you make a habit of retaliating when someone wrongs, you then you will reap contention in your life. On the other hand, if you make a habit of giving and being kind then you will reap the benefits of kindness.

It’s common sense! If you compliment people, chances are you will eventually receive compliments in return. If you yell and scream at people, eventually you will get yelled and screamed at in return.

So how can you use reaping and sowing to your benefit? By interrupting the cycle.

Try to fight the natural tendency to repay anger with anger, jealousy with jealousy, or hurt with hurt. If someone wrongs you, it’s a natural impulse to retaliate. Fight the urge to do so. That way you won’t join them in planting seeds of contention. Instead use that opportunity to plant seeds of forgiveness. That way your harvest will have plenty of joy and happiness.

Can you think of a time when someone wronged you and you negatively reacted? What could you have done differently? Let me know! You never know what type of seed you could be sowing by sharing your story.

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